


Just Arthur and The Secrect He Doesn’t Try To Hide

by ShylyAngelic



Category: Merlin (TV), The Greatest Showman (2017)
Genre: Angst, GSM crossover, Homophobia instead of racism because reasons, It’s fluffy for a minute, M/M, honestly I feel bad cuz I cried, im bad at tags, its basically angst, three hours of over analyzing dance choreography from a movie, yeah angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 15:31:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17185631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShylyAngelic/pseuds/ShylyAngelic
Summary: What if it wasn’t Annie and Phillip but instead Merlin and Arthur?The same doors are still there, and so are the mountains. Merlin just wants the pair to be Just Them.In other words, Merlin’s reality builds walls faster than Arthur’s hope can break them.





	Just Arthur and The Secrect He Doesn’t Try To Hide

**Author's Note:**

> Little disclaimer:
> 
> I wrote this at 3:30 am with a head ache so if there are mistakes please excuse them, but all in all I’m pretty proud of it. I spent way too long over analyzing every little movement and I tried to work around the little continuity error of the ropes but idk how well I pulled it off. Anyway, please enjoy and stay tuned until the end.

Just Arthur and the Secret He Doesn’t Try To Hide

  
  


Merlin could feel every single dagger Arthur’s Father was throwing with his eyes down to his core. He felt every sharp edge, every wordless insult. Then he felt every single sharp word as he turned and fled down the stairs, away from Arthur who was calling his name, away from Uther who was telling Arthur to stop, reminding him of his place. 

 

Back to Barnum. Back to rehearsal. Back to safety. Back to some semblance of normalcy, even among the peanuts and the freaks and the large grotesque paintings and tacky color scheme. Normal, where he and Arthur were just he and Arthur. Not outside where he and Arthur were Prince Arthur and That Homosexual Disgrace Merlin. Before Arthur, nothing was that complex. He did his bit with his sister Gwen and they stayed inside the warmth of the circus. It was home. Yeah, home. 

 

Until, of course, his knight in black silk armor came rushing in that one fine night and flipped everything over and made Merlin practically tear his hair from his pink wig in frustration over how difficult emotions besides fear and survival were. It felt impossible at times, watching Barnum’s young apprentice in his dazzling red uniform. Then it felt almost too easy to stare at the lips of Just Arthur. To hold Just Arthur’s hand at the concert. To want Just Arthur. But he wasn’t Just Arthur. He was Prince Arthur and at least in Barnum’s crumbling sanctuary Merlin could be Just Merlin. 

 

“Merlin?” Arthur gasped, his nose pink from the cold. “Merlin.” Arthur rushed over and knelt on a bleacher below where Merlin was wrapping his hands, holding in the tears Uther didn’t deserve. “He’s a small minded person,” Arthur started, reaching for a hand that was quickly pulled away. A beat, a wonderful silent pause before the question Merlin knew was coming. “Why do you care what he thinks?”

 

“It’s not just him,” Merlin said, tears rattling his voice as he shook his head violently, as if he were shaking out every glance and every look he’d ever received. “You’ve never had somebody look at you the way your father looked at me.” A flash of a future Merlin had desperately fought from his mind, a future with Arthur, suddenly appeared. And all Merlin could see were the looks of pure disgust. “The way everyone would look at us.” 

 

With that, Merlin pulled away and started off towards his gear, silently willing Arthur to leave, to go, not make it difficult for Merlin to say no. But Arthur was never really good at listening. 

 

“You know I want you,” Arthur sang, Merlin’s knees almost buckled. “It’s not a secret I try to hide.” Merlin ripped his ropes from the wall. “I know you want me, so don’t keep saying our hands are tied.” Merlin almost broke then, clutching at the thick woven lifeline for a grip on reality, grabbing faster as Arthur moved closer. 

 

“You claim it’s not in the cards, and fate is pulling you miles away, and out of reach from me,” Arthur sang again, closer this time, and as Merlin looked up to see the cocky grin replaced with sincerity, he had to move away, get away. “But you’re here in my heart, so who who can stop me if I decide that you’re my destiny?” 

 

Merlin stopped cold for a few seconds, letting the words sink in, praying the tears wouldn’t fall. Arthur was so naive, and his hope almost made Merlin believe the words. Then he began unraveling his rope, focusing on the inner workings of his act and keeping his eyes off of the blonde. 

 

“What if we rewrite the stars, say you were made to be mine,” Arthur sang a bit louder as he walked close, placing an arm around Merlin’s waist, causing his attention to waiver for a moment. Then, suddenly, Arthur began walking them backwards, close to Merlin. “Nothing could keep us apart.” Except Merlin turning immediately and stalking into the ring. That could keep them separate for a moment at least. That is, until Arthur caught up and held onto Merlin, arm at his back, close enough that Merlin could see the light glinting off of Arthur’s piercing eyes. “You’d be the one I was meant to find.”

 

They walked around each other, Merlin pulling in close only to trade hands at the rope and duck under Arthur’s arm. “It’s up to you.” Lies. “It’s up to me.” More lies. “No one can say what we get to be.” Biggest lie ever. Arthur caught the rope as Merlin tried to walk away, pulling him back to Arthur’s broad chest. 

 

“So why don’t we rewrite the stars, maybe the world could be ours, tonight.” For a fleeting moment, Merlin felt his resolve slipping. This man, right here, could be Just Arthur. Merlin allowed Arthur’s hand on his face. Allowed himself to be spun around, allowed the smallest of smiles to grace his face. He allowed himself to walk away for a moment, only to come back and grab his rope, almost pulling Arthur in, almost allowing himself to kiss the lips of Maybe Just Arthur. Then the rope pulled him out of reach. 

 

The log thudded at the bottom and Merlin could see Arthur looking around for him as Merlin switched to his ring. His defenses were falling, and as Merlin descended, mimicking an early routine of Gwen’s, he gracefully moved his legs, almost like he was swimming, when all he really wanted was to swim away from these intruding hopes. 

 

“You think it’s easy?” Merlin sang this time, echoing Arthur’s earlier tune. “You think I don’t want to run to you?” He landed softly, Arthur moving towards him. “But there are mountains, and there are doors that we can’t walk through.” Merlin came dangerously close to Arthur then, their hands moving in synch, noses pressed together. He arched back, spinning the ring behind Arthur, pulling away from him so things couldn’t get any father. 

 

“I know you’re wondering why, because we’re able to be just you and me within these walls.” Just him. Just Them. Just Arthur and Just Merlin. Merlin lay in the ring before spinning upwards and kneeling inside as Arthur caught him. Like Arthur would always catch him. And when he did the ring kept spinning and Merlin pulled himself upside down to face the blue eyes that rang with such love he almost couldn’t think. Luckily the ring started to lift as he sang and on the final word of his little stanza, Arthur had to let go. “But when we go outside, you’re gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all.”

 

Merlin shot up, quickly abandoning the ring for a rope again, stepping nimbly on the top railing before descending to his Arthur. No. To Just Arthur. “No one can rewrite the stars. How can you say you’ll be mine?” Arthur grabbed him as he came back around, sending them tumbling, holding each other. The warmth of the air and from the heat emanating off of Arthur’s tanned skin broke another wall, tore away another bit of the damn that Merlin tried so hard to maintain. Merlin yanked on the rope. “Everything keeps us apart, and I’m not the one you were meant to find.” 

 

The rope stopped and he grabbed it, willing himself out of this situation that could not and would not end well for him. Those eyes were getting to him. Those eyes were tearing down his defenses like paper. But neither of them got a choice in life. “It’s not up to you,” truth, “it’s not up to me,” more truth, punctuated by Arthur grabbing the rope and stopping it. “When everyone tells us what we can be.”

 

Merlin began to wrap himself up in the rope so he could come falling down safely. “How can we rewrite the stars?” Merlin sang out as he fell into Arthur’s arms who quickly and deftly flipped Merlin around his shoulders and held him close. “Say that world can be ours, tonight.”

 

He should have stopped there. He should have continued walking away, but he didn’t. His walls broke, every hope he had stored away and every wish he had ever dreamed of a future with this man came flooding in, crowding his common sense. He wanted Arthur. Every up, every down, every sideways glance and every dagger. No matter how far fetched the idea was. 

 

“All I want is to fly with you,” they sang in unison as the shot up, holding each other fully, Merlin embracing his wishes, entertaining his fantasy. 

 

“All I want is to fall with you,” they sang again, Merlin dropping to the floor to pull Arthur down to him, smiling at the man who took his breath away. The man he was willing to face the horrors of the world for. “So just give me all of you.”

 

Merlin held the back of Arthur’s neck, looking into the eyes he could never escape, searching for the sincerity, finding it, and relishing the love in them. And the smile. Arthur’s smile was big enough to hold every smile Barnum’s Circus had produced and Merlin could cry at how his life was finally worth something beyond a show to someone. He grabbed the second rope that he had pulled when he fell and they both pushed up, coming together and spinning faster and faster together. 

 

“It feels impossible,” Merlin sang with a hint of disbelief. 

 

“It’s not Impossible,” Arthur answered, overlapping Merlin’s doubts with love. 

 

“Is it impossible?” Merlin sang again, doubt almost gone. 

 

“Say that it’s possible,” they sang out together, holding closer, tighter, almost flying on the amount of freedom this little world brought. 

 

They spun down, Arthur landing with a thump and spinning Merlin out, as Merlin swung around the room. Arthur tossed Merlin the second rope with a grin. Finally they were on the same page. They were in love. What the hell did it matter what some idiot said on the street? 

 

“How do we rewrite the stars, say you were made to be mine?” Merlin pointed at Arthur at that bit, Arthur was his. Just Arthur, Prince Arthur and every Arthur in between. Merlin let the tears flow, let Arthur see he didn’t care about the words, he cared about him. The tears flowed because he was finally allowed to be in love with someone. “Nothing can keep us apart, you are the one I was meant to find.”

 

As they sang, they maintained eye contact, as if this was a contract, an agreement. They were made for each other. They had found each other. Arthur then started to clamour up the side of the arena, jumping on top of bleachers and scaling the balcony to get to a height where he could see Merlin better, and perhaps join him. 

 

“It’s up to you, and it’s up to me. No one can say what we get to be.” Arthur stood there for a moment as they sang, his face just as wet as Merlin’s. He opened his arms to the smaller and more nimble one, finally able to express all the love he had never been able to say out loud before. And for a moment, the words didn’t feel like lies.

 

Then Arthur jumped onto the rope and they laughed, continuing. “Why don’t we rewrite the stars, changing the world to be ours.” But they were only two people. Two people couldn’t change the world. The lies suddenly regained their bite, and suddenly Merlin snapped back into reality. 

 

They weren’t just anyone. Not even here. Here they still had roles and they still had to stand by them. Merlin clung to Arthur like he has clung to the rope earlier, trying to make the moment last, trying to rebuild that hope, though all he seemed to rebuild were walls. As they spun down to the floor Merlin stayed close, but refused the previous eye contact. 

 

“You know I want you,” He sang softly, Arthur panting and a bit nervous about the sudden shift in energy. “It’s not a secret I try to hide.” Arthur tightened his grip on Merlin’s waist, and Merlin could feel Arthur willing him not to continue, not to break the vow. “But I can’t have you, we’re bound to break and my hands are tied.”

 

The silence was crushing as Arthur kept his hand at Merlin’s waist, limp. His face had fallen, and the tears were no longer for joy but shattered hopes. Merlin slowly removed the hand at his waist as every horrid thing ever said to him came back, every look every action. He stood for a moment, debating whether to take it back or just leave. Arthur was so close and there was no one to tell them no. But Merlin couldn’t trust the world outside of here. There would be no taking it back. Only silence. 

 

The only thing to break the silence between the two were the footsteps of Merlin quickly jumping out of the ring, leaving just Arthur in the middle, clutching the rope like a lifeline. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well there you go. 
> 
> 1\. Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think!  
> 2\. If there are any other songs you want to see or scenes from literally anywhere just let me know.   
> 3\. Currently I’m working on a big Merthur project, which will be coming out in the near future, so if you like my writing style there will be more.   
> 4\. This is actually my very first one shot so yeah.


End file.
